Great Leaders Manage Conflict
In order to lead nonprofits well, both Executive Directors and Board Executive Committee members need an understanding of what conflict is, how it may impact the organization, and how to manage it. Existing board dynamics tend to exacerbate conflict, but that’s not how it has to be - both structural changes and training can change the situation. We offer a learning cohort for these specific skills for nonprofit leaders.
Forthcoming Research Highlights the Need & the Opportunity
12 out of 12 nonprofit leaders agree: Knowing how to deal with conflict is a key skill, one that is necessary to leading a nonprofit, whether you are a staff or a volunteer leader. ED, Board Chair, Director of Development, Vice Chair, CFO - the role doesn’t matter.
Conflicts happen. Ignoring them doesn’t work.
Reacting in the moment rarely works.
But having advance training that deals directly with conflict and the related skills of how to approach difficult conversations, and facilitate conversations that invite diverse ideas, are essential for nonprofit management.
The Need: Structural & External Issues Shape Ongoing Problems
Our current political and economic climate in the U.S. is laying bare the long-standing issues.
Board members invite friends to the board or staff promote programmatic volunteers into new leadership roles. It is exceedingly rare for new board members to have a true training on what is expected of them - let alone come in with the knowledge of how to apply the necessary leadership and strategy that will move the organization’s mission ahead. And, like many people who aren’t serving on a board, it can be difficult to stay focused on strategy and oversight rather than tactics.
Further, volunteer leadership ought to be a hefty time commitment, yet most board members seem to view just the meeting schedule as the total time commitment. People regularly show up not having engaged with advance materials - some even continue to insist on staff serving them printed copies upon arrival. Board members make decisions based on gut reactions or a memory of how the organization used to be, rather than dealing with current data.
Finally, external pressures shape - perhaps more than ever - who the organization serves, how strong its revenue streams are, and who its supporters are. As a former Planned Parenthood staff person, it was only after I became a staffer that I learned so much more about the love and hate people feel about that organization - and that was in the calmer, less chaotic 2000s. In interviews, Executive Directors shared the internal fissures that were exposed in board member commitment to their organizations when their organizations attempted to equally support everyone - from families of color to trans children. In two such stories, board members left - it is unknown whether they left because they truly believe not everyone deserves good treatment, access to food and healthcare, and a life free from violence, or from a perhaps misguided sense of risk-aversion.
While the external pressures of 2026 are stronger than they were 10+ years ago, none of these structural issues are completely new.
For EDs and CEOs, board-level problems get exacerbated by internal staff issues. Such issues may have nothing to do with the board, yet simply the absence of a strong partner in the Chair or other Executive Committee role means, too often, the leader dealing with the conflict winds up feeling alone and without resources. While some communities exist for nonprofit leaders, rarely do they focus on conflict management or resolution.
The Solution: Training and Community Build Stronger Nonprofits, Create Lasting Change
Many nonprofit leaders get exposed to the basics of emotional intelligence simply by being in the nonprofit space - yet I’ve learned it is a mistake to assume that just because someone leads a nonprofit, they have any particular skill level in the area.
And conflict skills are a very particular type of emotional intelligence!
It’s not just about listening well or empathy.
Emotional Intelligence Skills Needed to Manage Conflict
Active listening
Impulse control
Perspective-taking
Emotional self-awareness and expression
Flexibility and optimism to try new approaches
Being assertive yet not taking over other people’s roles or needs
The ability to walk away from a hard conversation - and then to return to it
Relying on one’s inner strength to face the times you or your organization has fallen short, either of its own values or others’ expectations of it
And even with all of these skills, it’s still helpful to have an understanding of approaches to conflict and communication. Even more helpful to have a plan ready, something you can pull out when needed to review what’s been happening in a conflict and how to approach managing the conflict while it’s happening.
In times of high stress, there is nothing more valuable than knowing you can call someone who will understand - and for the nonprofit ED, there is no one within the organization you can turn to. Being part of a peer community who has the same conflict tools is a huge asset when high-stakes conflicts occur.
Of course, we want EDs and CEOs to be able to turn to their board chair in partnership - yet it may be a mistake to share with those who determine your employment when a staff conflict just won’t go away - or that there is a conflict involving another board member. These conversations are difficult, and preparation is necessary.
In our interviews with nonprofit leaders, 12 out of 12 rated conflict knowledge as one of the most important skills a nonprofit leader could bring to the table. Yet when the same group was asked to rate their own boards on conflict skill, responses ranged from as low as 2 up to 9 (out of 10). None of the interviewees had consciously attempted to train their boards, either directly or with an external vendor, on dealing with conflict. And one of the EDs who rated their board highly said “I don’t know if that’s because they just haven’t had to face a conflict in my time with them.”
It’s not at all unusual for a body of professionals like a Board of Directors to have uneven skills in conflict - in fact, it’s rare in the U.S. for anyone to have had conflict training unless they have sought it out.
Leading Through Conflict Mastery
Learning programs for nonprofit leaders who need to specifically focus on conflict skills are rare.
That’s why we created Leading Through Conflict Mastery.
Our new learning cohort is exclusively for nonprofit EDs and CEOs to provide a peer-learning community specifically on conflict issues. An intimate learning experience, our cohorts will be limited to no more than eight participants, offered on a tiered payment scale, and provide the skills and time for every participant to create their own plan to deal with conflict in their organization.